A MOMENTARY REVERIE
by Ashen
Summary: Ben Kenobi's thoughts after saving Luke from the Sand People


Title: A Momentary Reverie

Author: Ashen

Rating: G

Spoilers: Phantom Menace

Disclaimer: Just borrowing, no money made

Summary: Ben Kenobi's thoughts after saving Luke from the Sand People

Note: Please r/r!

This is the day.

I didn't know it when I went to bed last night, nor when I awoke in the morning. 

One would think such a momentous occasion, the deciding moment of the galaxy, 

would have had some forewarning. I didn't realize it had come until I saw the boy, alone, save for two droids, trying to fend off Sand People. They subdued him quickly, and I acted.

I saw the boy once when he was a young teenager, but even if I hadn't, I still would have known it was he. The Force is with him, and his life signature is the same as when he was a newborn, sleeping soundly in my arms as I ferried him across the stars to his new home. 

Luke is sprawled across the sand unconscious, but thankfully uninjured. I call upon the Force to wake him, and it is there as always, controlling my actions and obeying my commands. A constant ally. Threads of my thoughts slip into the boys brain, coaxing slumbering senses to awaken. As Luke stirs, I assure the uneasy astromech droid hiding in the shadows that I mean him nor his master any harm. It jabbers something in its indecipherable electronic language as it moves forward, 

and I promise it that Luke is fine.

Even as I speak, the boy opens his eyes, and I am momentarily taken aback by the resemblance to his father's; the same piercing shade of blue. As he peers up at me, I can't help but be reminded of the young boy I had taken as my Padawan learner so many years ago. The same sun worn skin, sandy blond hair and curious expression. Anakin lost that look as he grew older and angrier, but this boy had managed to retain it.

"Rest easy, son," I say to him, helping him into a sitting position. "You've had a busy day." I surveyed him one more time, making sure I hadn't missed any injuries. 

"You're lucky to be in one piece!" I declared.

The boy shook his head to clear it and looked up at me. Realization dawned in his eyes, and I was pleased to see that he recognized me. 

"Ben? Ben Kenobi? Boy, am I glad to see you!" His voice was full of the energetic innocence and humble humanity I hadn't heard in much too long.

"The Jundland Wastes are not to be traveled lightly," I admonished him, helping him rise to his feet. Not a tall boy, but in good shape, with fair muscle tone for one not in constant physical training. From my encounter with him before, I knew he was bright and observant, and an excellent pilot. I expected no less from the son of Anakin Skywalker.

When I asked what we was doing in the middle of nowhere, he explained to me about the little runaway droid. It's funny, the random things one remembers even in his old age. If Luke only knew what part this droid had played in the events that led to his birth. However, routine memory wipes undoubtably erased all of the knowledge of myself and Luke's parents from the droid's mechanical brain. This blue and white R2 unit saved our ship when we were escaping from Naboo so long ago, and became a constant companion to Luke's mother. 

His mother. Everyday, Padme's face fades a little more from my aging memory, but I can still see a trace of her in Luke. The boy would have no recollection of her, no knowledge of her strength and courage, never knowing how deeply she loved his sister and him. And at one time, his father.

"Ah, he claims to be the property of an Obi-Wan Kenobi. D'you know him? Is he a relative of yours?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi..."

Was I ever that man? 

By the Force, the mere mention of that name, and I'm right back on Coruscant, a young Jedi pupil, so innocent of evil and of my destiny. At thirteen, Jedi children were deemed ready to independent. Now, as I look into Luke's inquisitive face, I know that we were merely children, naive and guileless having grown up in the completely sanitary world of the Jedi Temple. As a child, I was finally apprenticed.by a wise and respected Jedi master. So eager to please and learn. To be a Jedi. 

Qui-Gon Jinn was a father to me, Luke, but you were denied even that. Jedi initiates were traditionally made into orphans, separated from their families to learn the ways of the Force. From that point of view, what happened to you was really not so unorthodox. But you received a temperate household, with people who loved you but could never understand your true potential. Later, you may wonder why I didn't raise you myself, why I left you on your own. When you learn the truth about your father, 

and the part I played in his downfall, you will understand why I am unfit to be the master of any young Jedi, particularly one bearing the name Skywalker.

"Obi-Wan..." 

I fought a Sith when I was not much older than you, Luke, and destroyed him. I cradled by master's head in my lap as he breathed his last, trying not to look at the fatal lightsaber wound in his chest. I promised him I would train the boy, Anakin, your father. He was my master's great discovery in this forsaken wasteland you and I call home. The supposed Chosen One.

I failed your father, Luke, and in failing him, I failed you, your mother, your sister, and the whole of the galaxy. It seems like only moments ago that I was sinking to my knees at your mother's feet, presenting her with a battered lightsaber and telling her that her husband was dead. From a certain point of view, I told her the truth. Anakin Skywalker had been replaced by a dark and evil soul, more machine than human, a slave to the dark side of the Force. 

Your mother's tears were a mixture of joy and sorrow, for her love was gone, but her children were safe. I remember clearly the instant I felt you and your sister, rapturously alive and full of the Force, pulsing like twin stars beneath the warmth of Padme's own life force. I knew what it was to have hope again.

"Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time."

I wish I knew the words to say to prepare you for the journey ahead of you, Luke. A great storm of changes and challenges looms ahead. The life of a Jedi is treacherous and demanding, especially for one on which all hopes and dreams rest. 

"A long time..."

"My uncle said he was dead."

I kept my laughter inside. For all intents and purposes, I should be dead. Jedi have a knack for defying death. It's not from luck, as critics and nonbelievers would have the galaxy believe. It's a skill for survival, and trust in the Force to guide us.

"Oh, he's not dead," I assured the boy. "Not yet."

"You know him then?"

Those young eyes, so trusting and innocent. You will be tested time after time, Luke, as we all were. Innocence will be lost, but do not allow anger to replace it. You will wonder why this all fell on to your young shoulders. The answer is this: It is in your blood. It is your destiny, and it is my destiny to start you on the path. You will understand this in time, when your mind and body are calm and centered, free of the rage that led to your father's fall.

I smiled at the boy. This was the day, indeed. A new beginning.

"Of course I know him," I said, feeling just a bit like my old self once again.

"He's me." 


End file.
